May 21, 2024
Matriculation
I just read a story about Wilson Watson. He is a retired English professor who has spent the last couple decades collecting the most hilarious and often depressing spelling, grammatical and contextual errors his students have made in their papers.
I have reprinted a few of the more bizarre examples for you below. You might find them entertaining. Reading these bloopers really highlights the careless responsibility of our educational system, and I know I shouldn't, but knowing there are people out there who actually think this is English really helps my self-a-steam.
And remember folks, these are college students!
"People who murder a lot of people are called masked murderers."
"The person was an innocent by standard, who just happened to be the victim of your friend's careless responsibility."
"Another effect of smoking is it may give you cancer of the thought."
"The children of lesbian couples receive as much neutering as those of other couples."
"Benjamin Franklin discovered America while fling a kite."
"Keith helps me to have good self-a-steam."
"For example, one homeless person lives under a bride in Lanham, Md."
"Jogging on a woman's ovaries can be dangerous to her health."
"The French benefits of this job are good."
A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife.
"They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans," he replies.
"Put them back, we can't afford them," demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.
A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband.
"Its my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: "So does 24 cans of Budweiser and its half the price!"